Picking up the Pieces

It all started last September 2008, when i was chosen to be part of the G12 Ladies Network. I was given the opportunity to lead ladies and mentor them. I thought it was easy..I mean my G12 leader, Ate Irene, did it so with much confidence, with so much ease..she lead our cell group without sweat! Then came my turn..i was so excited for our first meeting..it was okay..but it didn't turn out the way i wanted to. Then it all came crumbling down..the flocks were scaterred and i don't know what to do. I got discouraged and even thought of giving it all up. Boy it was hard..i got tired..and blamed it all on the ladies..their weaknesses..their pride..their unavailability..their unwillingness..their lack of commitment and conviction..then they were gone.

I must admit it took a while before the smoke all cleared up and i was left alone, kneeling, crying before my God. Asking for forgiveness and surrendering all i am holding on so dearly..everthing was taken away because of my self-centeredness..my pride, my unyielding spirit..it was all about me..and my lack of HIM.

I surrendered. Now I'm picking up the pieces..they are now coming back slowly..others are now being added..

Lord, change me, mold me..use me..help me as i pick up the pieces...I am living under your grace..I am yours..all yours..